Be Glad They Haven't Brought Out the Dancers

JEJU CITY, SOUTH KOREA - If there's one thing that American presidential campaigns need, it's more synchronized dancers.

As the hoopla that surrounds the Iowa caucus continues to grow, it's worth noting that there are still lengths to which our candidates can go. And nowhere illustrates that better than South Korea. In a land where candidates send out campaign-video-blasting Jumbotrons attached to what appear to be ice cream trucks, the presidential contenders make Mitt and Hillary look positively tame by comparison.

For weeks now, candidates have been steadily increasing their presence. From the window of Hollys Coffee in downtown Jeju City, troops of supporters can be seen at all hours, often wearing matching outfits and performing elaborate line dances designed to illustrate the virtues of their chosen politician. Jingles blast from speakers attached to all manner of vehicles. One van I spotted was extolling the virtues of Candidate #1 (many candidates are known by their ballot numbers) to the tune of "Frosty the Snowman."

But on this eve of the election, there's a faint air of hysteria about the whole thing, familiar to anyone who has ever seen the last stump speeches before the second Tuesday in November. Lee Myung Bak, former mayor of Seoul, is still favored to win despite mounting allegations of corruption and fraud dating to his involvement with the investment firm BBK. In the face of these numbers, the remaining candidates are lobbying harder than ever, their fliers littering the streets, their dancers performing in wind and rain. The echoes of the video trucks can be heard in every alley.

And to what end? As unusual as these campaigns may seem, there may ultimately be little difference between trucks trolling city streets and candidates frantically descending on the Tall Corn State. Still, amidst the hullaballoo, it's comforting to know that no candidate is desperate enough to have organized a dance team. Yet.