What Does America Want To Be When It Grows Up?

Ryan O Neal Columnist

Every day I think about my future.

Homemade Mike Gravel Gyrocopter Crashes into Ron Paul Blimp

Michal Zapendowski Columnist

Holiday Shopping With GOP Candidates

Jack Dickey Satirist

As millions of Americans flocked to their local department stores on Black Friday, their bodies weighed down with greasy turducken, they were joined in-person by the Republican presidential candidates

Fred Thompson Wins High School Debate Tournament

Josh Cole Satirist

WALLA WALLA, WASH.—Presidential candidate and lovable man-hunk Sen. Fred Thompson (R-Tenn.) won the Winter Classic debate tournament at Whitman High School this past weekend.

PUBLISHED ON: December 10, 2007 - 7:43pm
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Chaos in the Biden Campaign!

Josh Cole Satirist

HANOVER, N.H. – In an announcement three days ago, Democratic presidential contender Joseph Biden (D-Del.) said he would divide himself into three.

PUBLISHED ON: December 7, 2007 - 10:48am
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A Press Conference with Mike Gravel

Jack Dickey Satirist

Author's Note: Before crucial debates, the candidates who are participating often engage in discussions and Q&A sessions with the press, so as to discuss the major initiatives on their plat

PUBLISHED ON: December 1, 2007 - 5:50pm
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Candidates Respond to CIA Meth Scandal

Josh Cole Satirist

LANGLEY, VA. -- CIA spokesman David Vaughn announced today that the Agency had attempted to leak methamphetamines into all of the candidate pools at the beginning of June.

PUBLISHED ON: November 22, 2007 - 12:30pm
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The Next President's Attorney General Short-list

Jack Dickey Satirist

When embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales finally decided to resign from his post (and thereby devote his billable hours to his family), speculation immediately arose over who would take Gonzo’s spot as the nation’s top prosecutor.